Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Some super awesome bad movies...

And a few good ones. I’ve had a good run…

Lucifer complex: Sir Bru-dawg and I were at some record store and I was looking through old video tapes and stumbled upon this cinematic turd.It looked awful so of course Bru-dawg bought it. It was a science fiction movie about nazi cult doctors breeding clones on some island starring Robert Vanhan. If your old enough you’ll know him from the magnificent seven and the man from UNCLE. If your not old enough he goes down "oh yeah that guy," status.The movie is the reason fast forward buttons exist. It was funny and bad but the wrap-around story was almost unwatchable. I got the impression that the middle part of the movie was too short or awful and they thought they would add this story at the beginning and end. So the first half an hour is this dude after the end of the world watching human history on Crystal chips(that only show black and white). Eventually he discovers the end of the human race is caused by the nazi doctors.Very bad watch Zardoz instead.

3:10 to Yuma: Christian Bale rocks, everything he acts in pretty much is gold. Sure the action scenes were a bit over the top but with the actors it was an improvement on the OG Leonard Elmore film.

Duel to Death: I watched this with Randall (My co-author on the forthcoming Straight edge book) because it is hands down my favorite kungfu movie ever. An underrated classic that has everything you would need in a Wuxia pan film. Excellent sword fights, ninjas – lots of ninjas, backwards jumping, gore, shoalin monks, mystical kungfu.

Water Margin: Chang cheh Shaw brothers classic based on the super old school kungfu novel. Super strange flick that has 101 characters and 90 minutes into the film they are still introducing them and the actors that play them in title cards. Like the credits never end. As in all his film the blood flows, brutal Kungfu. Probably my least favorite Chang Cheh movie so far but I enjoyed it enough.

Curse of the Golden Flower: sure it’s an overproduced melodrama for the first hour but once the ninjas assassins show there is not one damn thing to complain about. Chow yun Fat is amazing as the emperor.Although I liked watching it at home, it was meant for the big screen and I’m glad I saw it that way.

Twitch of the Death Nerve: Bru-dawg pick. Mario Bava directed pre-Friday the 13th slasher film. It is a weird slasher movie because there is not one killer. everyone kills everybody. For fans of Italian horror it is a must see film.

Raiders of Atlantis: Bru-dawg pick. Italian low budget sci-fi action film, so Atlantis comes up out of the ocean and sends a tidal wave that destroys the world. It was strange very much like the director’s cut of Jim Cameron’s the abyss. Atlantis populated by a punk rock biker gang who slowly drives around Florida killing the surviving humans. The plot makes negative sense, but it is a hell of a entertaining must see bad film. Even movie madness doesn’t have it.

2019: After the fall of New York – Bru-dawg and I had a super bad post apoc night that started with raiders of atlantis and ended with this movie. Low budget Italian rip-off of escape from NY that also has pretty much the same plot as children of men. This movie is crucial and I feel like a poser for having never before witnessed it. As bu-dawg correctly pointed out if you don’t like this you don’t like bad movies. There are also this super bizarre planet of the apes dudes that show up,it is quite a film.
Also watching X-files season 5, Dead zone season two.

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